As human beings, we all have feelings of insecurity. About our bodies, about our personality, about our partners – the list can go on. We can be insecure about absolutely everything. Whatever it is that we feel insecure about, the root of the problem comes down to how we feel about ourselves emotionally. However we all deserve to feel comfortable in our own skin, we all should be able to go to the beach/pools without having to feel shame or embarrassment. So here are my 5 tips on overcoming those feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
As a woman living in the 21st Century otherwise known as the narcissistic generation, I constantly feel like I have to compete with other people – through how I dress to how my winged eyeliner is looking that day. There seems to be a lot more judgement in today’s world than there ever was before but it really doesn’t have to feel like competition – instead we should be praising each other in order to feel more confident and happier about ourselves.
Everyone has insecurities – it’s the way we deal with it that matters. So you have an insecurity or two, or three or maybe a hundred. Who doesn’t? That’s probably one thing you really need to understand – EVERYONE is insecure about something. However the way you deal with yours is where things get interesting. Some people deal with it too openly and others hide it altogether. You need a balance of both of these. Don’t be too open that people constantly feel you’re playing victim but be open enough so you have comfort in talking to others about your situation. Lesson 1: allow yourself to understand that insecurities are within everyone, you’re definitely not alone.
Have a willingness to face your fears. Over the past few years, I’ve gained quite a few kilos and have had my insecurities about this. My biggest fear here is that I don’t want to ever weigh myself. And sure, gym experts and personal trainers will say that numbers don’t count when trying to lose weight – it’s more so how you feel about yourself. This is true however with me, I had to look at the numbers to give myself a reality check. After I faced my fears, I knew what I had to deal with and in order to crunch those numbers, I had to dedicate some sort of work out routine. Lesson 2 is to be willing to face your fears and if you have trouble with this, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.
Comparing yourself to others may be your biggest enemy. It’s so easy to compare yourself to Victoria Secret Angels who always look incredible no matter how late they slept that night. There are beautiful people plastered all over social media, magazines and movies. Everyone is on a different path, leading a different life. So when you see that beautiful girl on your Instagram, swimming in the beaches of Maldives, be happy for her and also strive to do that one day. Don’t compare and don’t be a hater. Lesson 3 is to kick comparing yourself to others in the ass!
Learn to trust yourself. Trust is an important aspect in life – trust in friendship, relationship, family and yourself. Once you learn to trust yourself, the others will come into play quite easily. If you don’t trust that you can run 2kms than you definitely won’t be able to. Lesson 4: by putting belief into yourself, you’re somehow overcoming a certain self-esteem issue by saying ‘I can’ and ‘I will’.
Surround yourself with people who have confidence in you. This is pretty straightforward. If you’re around negative nancies and people who constantly put you down, then you’re going to develop low self-esteem and constant anxiety in people judging you for everything that you do. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, beam with positivity and appreciate you. So in the words of writer Beth Moore “So long, insecurity: you’ve been a bad friend to us.” And that was lesson 5.
It’s okay to feel insecurity every once in a while, however don’t let it take over your life. Stand up and be confident about yourself. I hope my tips can help you with feeling a bit more confident and positive about your life!